Wushu Waddle:
The Wushu Waddle name change was too late to curry favor from the fantasy football gods. Amon-Ra St. Brown got back to his typical PPR ways, but also might have picked up an injury. Richardson might be pretty volatile going forward too. It looks like that Raiders loyalty led Wushu astray with Zamir White. At least Dicker the Kicker is doing fine. Wushu Waddle might have a hard time digging out of their 0-2 hole.
Panic Level: I'm allowing you to panic some
Ja'Marr SteepleChase:
Ja'Marr Chase has been kept under 10 points for 2 weeks, and seemed to get a little angry at the refs at one point. The panic isn't quite there for him yet, but it's starting to creep in. The tight end position isn't looking great, but what can you expect with Tucker Kraft as your TE1. De'Von Achane seems like a great value after everyone worried if he could continue what he did last season, especially as long as Mostert is out, and James Cook proved we don't need to worry about his TD equity as much as we thought. DeVonta Smith has AJ Brown out now to clear the way as well. Overall I think injuries have actually worked in this team's favor so far. With the slim win over Wushu Waddle, 2-0 makes a good start too.
Panic Level: None
Dak's Track Attack:
Oh man. Deebo Samuel Jr was one of the only good things going on this team, but now he's out for at least a few games. Breece Hall is amazing, but he was drafted #4 overall, so he has to be. Last week I mentioned that Amari Cooper and Michael Pittman Jr both just seemed to have down weeks. It looks like I was wrong. (Greg also pointed out some issues about Pittman's team last week). Tyjae Spears might be injured, but that hardly matters since it turns out he's the backup anyway. Thankfully some of the bench depth seems to be somewhat playable here, with Ekeler showing he can still catch and run, and Gibson having some opportunities. Still, not starting calibre, and you've got lots of issues to fix.
Panic Level: Absolutely panic please
Purdy Good Olympics:
The slight name change gets Purdy into the league spirit, as he crushes another week, this time picking up the win. No players scored less than 10 points on this team, with everyone contributing to the 167 point effort. Rashid Shaheed didn't need return yards this week, Tony Pollard showed he was leading the backfield even before Spears got injured, Barkley didn't get 3 TDs again but had another 100+ yard game, Nico Collins should have been drafted way earlier, and Davante Adams picked it back up this week. Purdy got unlucky with a first week loss, but it looks like that won't happen often with this group. (Sidenote: It's going to suck losing Hurts, but I think you have to trade him for Purdy if you want to keep the name.)
Panic Level: Negative one
Rachaad White & Blue:
The injury to Justin Jefferson doesn't seem as dangerous as initially expected, and this team has lots of depth. Malik Nabers showed up with 18 targets and will be hard to keep on the bench. Jordan Mason turned out to be a great post draft pickup (one that I'm still kicking myself over now). It's going to be hard to decide who to flex each week, with 3 good running backs and 3 good wide receievers to work with, but that's a pretty nice problem to have. This team seems the most ready to weather the upcoming bye weeks. With 2 of their 3 QBs underwhelming, they can probably make room on the bench to try to fix up TE, which seems to be their only real weak spot.
Panic Level: Keep up with the waiver wire and share some QBs, but you're set
Yusuf DiKelce:
As mentioned in Slack, I take full responsibility for Tua's most recent concussion. I just had to say good things last week. Tyreek Hill is a great wide receiever, but having that stack there hurts too. Apparently Chris Godwin was the Tampa Bay WR to have this year, after doing just about nothing last year. Another injury hit with Mixon as well, taking out another starter for DiKelce. The team's namesake didn't cost a first round again this year, but Taylor Swift is probably starting to wonder whether it's worth continuing to fly her private jet all the way out to Missouri every week. I will stop saying nice things about this team so everyone can stay safe and healthy.
Panic Level: I'd definitely worry about those injuries, and you might want to dump Kelce before Swift dumps him for Elon
Darnold QB1:
Maybe Darnold QB1 paid for the name holdout with a bad fantasy performance by Josh Allen. If they don't change their name soon, the Bills might just keep winning layups and not have to play. Darnold QB1 made the first dual TE play of the season, with both TEs on the same real life football team no less. Despite the bold move and not nearly as many points from Likely as week 1, only one bench player, Breece Hall's backup made enough points to be noteworthy as a should-have. Corum and Davis only beat Likely out by less than 2 points each anyway. Darnold QB1 really needs AJ Brown back to fix their George Pickens problem, and either way, is going to have a hard time filling the flex.
Panic Level: Do everything you can to fix this, including changing your name to appease the fantasy football gods
The 49ers Gold Medal Miners:
The gold medal miners might have some trouble finding one with CMC out for a while. Losing the #1 overall pick is painful, and something we've learned with CMC is only Greg has the luck to get a full season out of him. Brandon Aiyuk seems to have made the wrong choice sitting out for so long, but the Deebo injury might change that fortune. Despite CMC out, Josh Jacobs and Brian Robinson Jr sill seem to be a respectable RB room. The Miners might have trouble with their WRs, and won't be truly great at RB till CMC is back, but has lots of late season potential if they can stay in it. I wondered at first why the name was 49ers without the explicit defense tie in, but this team really is all in on the 49ers offense. I'd be curious to see how closely their record ends up matching the real life team's. (So far, dead on.)
Panic Level: It's your choice. Panic over losing your first round pick, or just accept the damage you've done to CMC's career and be zen.
Lamarathon Runners:
As the marathon name might imply, Lamarathon Runners has still not run out of steam after already keeping a stranglehold on the championship for 3 seasons. The last time anyone else won a championship was before the pandemic. This team has to be stopped! It's going to be hard with a team like this: good starters and bench depth. If the Lamb injury turns out to be anything, it's a dent, but one they may still be able to overcome. A 2-0 start doesn't clinch playoffs yet, but is a great start.
Panic Level: We already know you're not ("the rightful order has been restored" - Greg).
Pole Vaulter's Chubb:
I have a vested interest in not saying too many bad things about this team before Week 3, lest I anger the fantasy football gods and jinx myself. That said, this team is not doing well. Lots of injuries and some bad picks otherwise have already decimated this team by Week 2, to the point where their two RBs are on the same team (and not even in a timeshare situation). Despite Arthur Smith leaving, the Drake London breakout has yet to fully happen, though the touchdown this week was nice. Cooper Kupp joins the long list of injuries for this team (and for the Rams). Nico Collins has reduced Tank Dell to a bencher, though this team may still need to rely on him anyway. I hate to agree with this so early in the season, but team owner might have been right with their "F" self-grade last week. Now that I've said enough bad things, I do think they'll get their 2-1 start to the season, but wins might be hard to come by past that.
Panic Level: It sounds like the team has already hit the fifth stage of grief, acceptance.
Pukaing Up Seine Water:
This team has done fine, not great so far, and a 1-1 record reflects that. There is definiely some cause for concern with Pat Mahomes throwing a few interceptions last week, and not clearing 20 points yet. Jameson Williams and Calvin Ridley seem to be a fine fill ins for WR2, which is much needed with Puka out for a while and Terry McLaurin sucking. Overall, the team isn't ready to win a championship or hit the high tier of teams, but is solid enough for now. This season could still go either way for this team, depending if some of their players start hitting (like Mahomes) or if they pick up a few more injuries.
Panic Level: HODL
City of Love:
What a turnaround by Marvin Harrison Jr! That and Kamara are about where the praise stops, and not just because I'm a sore loser. 135 points is a great week, but that was entirely on those two players' shoulders. Kamara looks like a great draft value, but he won't be getting 4 TDs every week. There are a lot of gaps otherwise, and a couple injuries to Jordan Love (maybe coming back soon) and now Isaiah Pacheco (IR) really hurt this team's future. This might be the last week for a while this team is feeling the Love of fantasy football.
Panic Level: Dread those bye weeks and hope Love is back soon
Good luck everyone, and may no further injuries come as a result of my writing.
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