Guest written entry by Roswell Lamartian Manager.
The author of these blogs does an outstanding job diving into the overall game that is Football. Greg is an insightful man that looks into the overall picture of Fantasy Football and conveys thoughts beyond just his team. He likes to give comments about how one should start every available player against the Lion's Defense.
Geno with a huge 35.9
Penny with a monster 34.2
Dissly with a solid 11.9 at the TE position (9 teams could have used that)
Myers putting in 15 with his foot
DK Metcalf with the 19.4
The Matchups
Roswell LAMARtians vs The Terminator (mo… mo?)
I know you reader, you like to read the first few entries and then scroll to your matchup. I understand. I’m just like you, except this week it’s different. This week, I’m writing the show. And with that comes perks. Great perks. Like deciding which matchup you’ll read first!
This matchup had us all hooked from the beginning. Thanks in large part to the parity of the league, we only had two undefeated teams through 3 weeks but these 2 teams would face each other this week. Now reader, I’m going to let you in on how the Lamartians operate. Have 2 players on the roster score an obscene amount of points and start a good defense. Screw the rest. In previous wins, we had Lamar throw it to Andrews over and over and over until I couldn’t laugh anymore. The laughter runs out sometimes. But when Buffalo figured out our plan, we had to look elsewhere and that’s where my fellow Texans came into play. They found my first-round pick! Ekeler returned home and brought with him all the TDs he was supposed to score earlier making for a huge 31.9 fantasy day. Delicious. Having Swift nurse an injury was perfect timing as Williams (the name looks familiar) went for a nice 24.4 points. Delicious. Now, look at the auto drafter. That team is good. Kupp (19.2), Kelce (19.7), Hurts (19). That’s some good results but you know what? That’s OLD SCHOOL BOT THINKING! 3 good players is the old way of doing Fantasy, it’s about 2 GREAT players. And the proof is in the 4 and OH YEA BABY! What’s that? You thought I was nervous because the robot had 2 stud players on Monday Night? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
The Loch Ness Burrow vs Night Vale Scorpions
Remember that winning strategy that the current undefeated team uses? Well, Loch Ness got his with that big RAAAAAAAAIDER Runningback Josh Jacobs (35) and that big brawler from Tampa Mike Evans (26.3). And that defense! 4 FUMBLES?!? Outstanding. This is why you’re almost undefeated. The maintainer of this blog would say you need to get your WR2 figured out but FORGET ABOUT IT! You don’t need some stinkin’ WR2! OVERRATED!
Scorpions… In what should have been a stellar week with the stars aligning that your team name is the same as a group of rock stars that had a hit called “Rock you like a Hurricane” during a Cat 4 (# of the week) Hurricane… well it WASN’T! Instead, it was your team missing its 2 Superstars. You got the good end of the trade with Mike Williams and Tonyan but… where’s the juice? It ain’t in your QB position. You’re cursed. I would drop a hint about a Lion’s Defense but that would be free advice. (And also I don’t know who is going to throw in NE!)
Oh Godwin He Can See vs KY
I’ve got 3 words to describe this bout of the heavy weights… Dee. Bo. Samuel. I thought Godwin was a goner but with that Monday Night super TD catch and run. Pure ecstasy. What? He also had Cam Akers? Who’s that? Is he even a football player? Now Chris, go find a REAL #2 Player for your team so you can have more W’s than L’s.
Kentucky, can I call you Kentucky? That wasn’t a stellar outing. Most people would say something about your TE scoring 0 points but WHO NEEDS TE POINTS?!?! McCaffrey got you them good Kentucky Fried points. What you needed was for Tua to not get rushed off the hospital so the Cheetah could race past everyone and get you 10 TE’s worth of points. But hey, the grass is always bluer in Kentucky. ( I think that’s a phrase that they say…)
Hazers vs Jets Fuel Cant Melt Steel Beam
Hot damn this match was lit! (I think the kids say that…) Hazers ignored that silly advice about Russell Wilson and got himself a great outing but Barkley didn’t turn a good performance into a great performance by getting into the damn’d ENDZONE! That’s what you pay him for! A stellar outing from your boys but it didn’t get close enough to extinguish the flame of that Jet Fuel.
Which brings us to the destructive force that can melt steel beams. Justin Jefferson saying top of the morning to you as he cashes in his sterling for some more gold in the teeth. Chubb did some work and is close to earning his third ‘b’. Who let this man draft this team?! This team is pretty close to perfect. Everyone should do themselves a favor and avoid scheduling a match with you. It’s in their best interest.
Ancient Allens vs Ballderberg
Another Alien themed team taking out the robots! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! It must have been scary to go against a bot recruiter and Josh Allen being 6 points shy of his 32 point projection. (32 point projection?!?!) But you stuck with that Denver Wide Receiver because you had nothing else. BUT WHO NEEDS ANYTHING ELSE?! Well maybe you… but NOT AGAINST THE MACHINE! I’d drop that awful Baltimore Defense if I were you but you don’t need good defense, you just need Prince Henry to become King. And I bet that will happen week 8 against the Texans. Oh look! You face the other robot during that week! BWHAHAHAHAHA!
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All teams will fear your robot visage when the Sun God returns. Tough break as he would have given the Seattle Defense 3rd degree sunburn this week instead of whatever it was that Gage did…
Kelsey Lohan’s Ghost vs Chipped By Billy G
Reader, I have a riddle for you. What’s more dead than a fictional ghost? THIS FICTIONAL TEAM’S OUTING! There’s nothing to see here. You traded away a playable Williams (name looks familiar) for Pitts. I’ll be proven wrong I’m sur… nah. Mariota doesn’t like the cut of that man’s jib at all. All I can say is if there’s anyone you should feel honored to lose to it’s..
T. J. Hockenson. The son of Hocken. Long may his mane reign. This… this was just gross. This man alone almost beat the ghost’s team by himself. 9 v 1… and T.J. would have made it interesting. Reader, I have a new strategy based off of Billy’s once in a season performance. HAVE 3 GREAT PLAYER PERFORMANCES! Look at it. Brady back from the retirement grave. Sanders finally being allowed to be a real running back. I would have thought that D. Swift injury would have crippled you but hahahahaha T.J.! A TE! I despise them so much! BWHAHAHA feels good to not have to lose to this monster. What a stellar first victory. TJ!
Pick up of the Week
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I know… he was picked up in the 9th round week 0 but… C’MON!
Shameful “Benching” of the Week
Yea.. now we all saw it… >.>
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